Mittens
by LarcSakurai
Summary: After tiring of senseless destruction every time Kadaj gets angry, Cid develops a new way to help the Remnants work out their anger.


"PUT DOWN THE FUCKIN' TEAPOT KADAJ!"

"But, Captain!"

"NO! BAD KADAJ! PUT IT DOWN!"

"But-"

"GODDAMMIT BOY I SAID PUT DOWN THE FUCKIN' POT!"

Reluctantly, Kadaj did as instructed leaving his other hand tightly tangled in his elder brother's hair keeping him pinned to the table. Yazoo struggled against his brother's grip, snarling and growling while Loz cowered off in a corner blubbering like a baby. Kadaj had, yet again, flown off the handle but Cid had intervened this time before he lost yet another teapot to the young Remnant's temper and someone requiring medical attention. Kadaj was tightly coiled under the stress of the Jenova cells ravaging his body and the fights he always got into walking around town. It was nearly impossible to keep him indoors, he went berserk being trapped in the house all the time but nothing seemed to ease the stress.

Cid heaved a sigh and plopped down in his dark husband's arms who had come down to see what the arguing was about this time. Vincent just eyed the three boys who now cowered away eyeing him warily. Even Chaos was beginning to tire of the teenage hormone wars and often took it upon himself to settle them, albeit not so gently. Cid looked up to Vincent helplessly, the constant fighting and bloodshed slowly eroding the pilot's thin patience away. He truly did want to keep the boys but all they ever did now was fight, even if it was primarily Kadaj's fault. There were too many dangerous forces under one roof to have them fight.

"C-Captain..." Loz whimpered from the corner, "A-Are you... gonna get rid of us?"

Cid shook his head, lighting a cigarette. "No, I ain't gettin' rid of you boys. I think I got an' idea I think you boys c'n use ta channel all that anger into somethin' else more useful." At this all three boys smirked at each other making the pilot roll his eyes. "As much as you boys fuck I'm surprised you ain' floatin' on air all the time!" Identical faces burned deeper red than the gunner's cloak. Satisfied they were silent, Cid stole upstairs and rummaged through the back of a closet.

Four inquiring faces eyed the captain when he walked in with a big box and set it on the table. They came forward as Cid opened it and Vincent, surprisingly, was the first to remark.

"Knitting?"

"Yep!" The Captain took out the various assortments of string, needles, and patterns, tossing them down on the table in front of four gaping men. "I kept the shit from when I lived with Shera. She was always knittin' things fer when it got cold. And now," he pointedly regarded the three brothers, "You're gonna be knittin' some mittens. It's about time you all channel them hormones inta somethin' other than screwin' each other senseless."

"No fucking way." Kadaj was abou to argue until Yazoo grabbed him, pulled out a chair, and pushed him down into it.

"You're going to, or else..." Yazoo licked his ear, running a hand between his younger brother's thighs. "No sex for a month."

"Mnn.." Kadaj's head tipped back, "You can't deny me.."

"I have Loz, yes I can." Yazoo kissed his throat, sliding into Kadaj's lap making the younger groan. "Do you really want the only time you touch me ot be when it is necessary? Or do you want me whenever you want me..?" Loz, who had already gleefully begun knitting his mitten, knitted faster trying to not pounce the other two. Yazoo slid off Kadaj and plopped up on Loz's knee, cursing colorfully as he'd learned from their captain trying to figure out how to make the damn things work. Kadaj pouted helplessly, watching his brothers contently knit one cuddly mitten after another beaming proudly at their handiwork. Vincent and Cid both stood guard not about to give the young Remnant any oppurtunity to run.

"Look, I made a rainbow one!" Loz held it up proudly.

"Very good." Vincent offered him a half-smile.

"C'mon Brother!" Loz nudged Kadaj's leg. "It's not so bad."

Defeated, and now with a hard-on, Kadaj picked up the patterns and began knitting.


End file.
